My Life: Psychology: Entry 8

Unconditional Positive Regard --

Definition: The acceptance and caring given to a person as a human being, without imposing conditions on how the person behaves (Glassman 264).

According to Rogers, this is a vital aspect to anyone's life because we all need love and caring, no matter what we do or who we are. It's innate within us to crave or want someone else's positive attention, and in order to be a fulfilled individual, we need others to give us this (if not for motivation, then for reassurance and a sense of belonging, like in Maslow's heirarchy).

For me, it has always been important. When I don't feel the love from other people, I become uninterested in life and what my fullest potential could be. However, most of the time there is always someone I can trust who will give me unconditional positive regard... my parents. No matter how badly I mess up or become now or in the future, I know they will love me. Whether or not they will actually support me in my decisions is another matter, but I know they will think of me in a positive light as their son. But, I know I won't do anything too bad to become ostracized by my friends who will also stick by my side for better or for worse, and give me the caring I need to live through whatever comes my way.

Conditional Positive Regard --

Definition: the acceptance and caring given to a person only for meeting certain standards of behavior (Glassman 264).

This is an important aspect towards growth and development of behavior patterns. It is similar to the idea of classical conditioning in behavioral psychology: when a person does something good, they are rewarded for that behavior (either through praise or physical congratulations). However, a lot of times people take the punishment of their behavior too personally, and think that they are being scolded or ignored for doing the wrong things because of their self, instead of their actions/behaviors. So conditional positive regard has its definite downsides.

As a child, I had to learn a lot about appropriate behavior through conditional positive regard from my sisters. If I did something right, then they would be nice to me or give me something. However, when I did something unacceptable, they wouldn't pay any attention to me, which drove me mad (I was an attention craving toddler). My parents never usually adopted this method, unless I was throwing a tantrum, and instead of trying to hush me or do anything about it, they would ignore me, and wait for me to settle down. The lack of attention is what made me realize my faults. A lot of times in my schooling experience teachers have use conditional positive regard on me. If I answer a question correctly, or do something right in class, they acknowledge it and give me kudos. This is how I have learned to be an effective and productive member of the student body.